When life gives you lemons, make lemonade…before they all go bad or you do.
In 2014, my lungs were giving out. I had gone to the Emergency Room twice as my Salbutamol Spray had stopped working. In other words, not even two or three puffs were helping me to return to normal breathing. I was given Benadryl at the hospital. Later, I was put on a steroid program that was supposed to strengthen my lungs. What I found out was using ionizers to filter the air was actually triggering my asthma. But I had little choice, there were people in my apartment building smoking dope every evening. On the weekends, the weed intake was twice a day. It didn’t help that when I opened my bedroom window, the street traffic pollution (the bus stop was just a few feet away), would waft in. This was not a happy life.
I quickly bought air purifiers for the bedroom and the hallway and the bathroom. The metal plate in the bathroom ionizer eventually became covered in sticky brown tar.
It dawned on me I had to leave.
Leaving a place that has beautiful parks and that has been central to your work geography is stressful particularly in Vancouver. Vancouver is notoriously expensive. My (now former) partner and I had done quite a few repairs to our apartment which we were still paying a mortgage for. Finding another centrally located place that was affordable would be challenging–unless of course, we sold ours which still needed some minor renovations.
However something was happening here that was hard to describe or even explain. When life unravels, it begins as silent as a breath. But there will come a time, when it unfurls fiercely. And if you don’t leave a bad situation, you will indeed “go bad”.
Oh yes, the lemons, squeeze them for every drop you can get
In one place where I taught writing and grammar, my supervisor suggested I show students how to write complete essays on the board. These students were in grade 12, some were struggling with the more tricky aspects of understanding idiomatic expressions although they were incredibly bright. I hence began writing on the board an essay I created myself. Each standardized pre-university test had its own scoring rubric such as the LPI and the SAT and so I would write different types of essays for each lesson. It took a lot of time but my students got a lot out of it as we also discussed possible arguments and counterarguments after reviewing what I’d written.
When I had my health breakdown, I had to opt out of teaching so many class hours. It was a dent in income especially as my then partner and I had a big mortgage to pay. One day, I was looking at all my essay notes and then it hit me, why not compile them and make essay booklets out of all of them. And that’s what I did. I then hired an affordable web designer (who charged less than 150 dollars!) to create a website through which I could sold my hardcopies.
When you start something, start small enough that you don’t fumble from overwhelm
Initially, I had big dreams of keeping an inventory of different booklets. My hardcopies sold but the problem was it took more effort than it was worth to put them in envelops and send them off one at a time whenever an order came in. That’s when I started to convert my booklets into PDF files. This was a win-win situation as a buyer could receive them immediately while eliminating the hassle of getting them printed and going to the post-office.
When you come into realization that you are a spirit having a physical experience, you need to take that experience and give it back to Spirit
When I started having severe asthma attacks from the environment, I started praying for a solution. One day, I was listening to an intuitive Kourtney Leven being interviewed on a daily webinar. There was an offer of a reading in the interview and I decided what have I got to lose?
I ordered a session and Kourtney said something revealing which confirmed my own intuition. She said, “Your partner isn’t really that interested in moving. But you will probably need to for the sake of your health. If you move nearer the water, your lungs will improve.” She had brought up two things that had been sitting in my head for the last few weeks. But the Vancouver rental rates were insanely high, and affordable waterfront—well that’s pie in the sky. . .or so I thought.
Leaving a home is often complex when you are sharing your space with someone you have a decade of history with. In truth, I really did love this human being. I saw the stress of the outreach work my ex-partner faced, dealing with dual diagnosis clients who faced homelessness and mental issues. Most of all, I considered this person to be one of my best friends.
I took this challenge as part of my meditation. And then one night, my mother appeared to me in a dream. She held a newspaper clipping in front of me. It showed a building with water on the left and right side of it. I looked at her incredulously and said, “Dear Mom, how could anyone afford that?”
This dream would surprise me in a few ways. Firstly, Mom has dementia and actually doesn’t communicate very much at all. Secondly, when I began looking at rentals, I came upon an advertisement for a rental place by the water. I thought back to the mysterious dream that visited me. . .
When life gives you lemons, and you’ve started making lemonade, you will also begin noticing the signs
It was during my contemplation of moving that a friend of mine started calling me. He was often at the pub or some café, which was odd as he normally went home to make dinner for his wife. It turned out his marital problems had escalated. He had been having some pretty big fights with his wife. Things got so bad, she called me one day and proceeded to spend an hour disparaging about their marriage. I had hoped that things would mend as it often used to for both of them, but something was different. The animosity was as hot as coals and he was only coming home very late to sleep on the living room couch.
That was when I told him about my own challenge. He immediately asked if I would consider having a room mate and so we both ended up going to Vancouver Island to check out the waterfront rental. This was where things got really strange. As we drove up to the property, we found ourselves surrounded by water on both sides. It turned out the rental was on a peninsula. The building had water to the left and right of it – just as my dream had shown me!
Home on the peninsula
Once our amazement had subsided, I braced myself. How would the property manager accept a self-employed tenant and one low-income retiree? It was hence with great surprise that (after she reviewed my resume and did her own credit check) she was nothing but open arms and after our interview, we got a phone call asking if we would like to take the apartment. It turns out that whole block of apartment, all built in the 1950’s, were the most affordable rentals on the island. Also, the tenant we were replacing was a party going student and the rental manager was trying hard to find a quieter replacement, after many tenant complaints.
Life will still throw a couple of lemons your way, but it will be okay as long as you don’t allow them to define you—as much as the lemonade you make.
In a sense, I had been living an average life. But it never feels that way in the beginning when you are starting out in your career. In fact, sometimes the hard-going years are absolutely necessary. There is no shame in spending a few years building your skills and accruing stability.
When I moved to the island, I knew no one. And yet I felt like I had gone through something hugely cathartic. My early days there were filled with excitement (and anxiety). It is a place, beautiful enough that I could take walks at different points and edges, and always see something different.
Yet I began to feel that anxiety again. I was eating, doing some online work and sleeping.
Before moving, I realized that in my former life I had been going through an average life because I was not mindful. I was maxing my schedule with “Need To’s” ie. Eating, prepping for classes, teaching, extra tutoring, sleeping etc. Asthma aside, I think it was all the prepping (particularly for International Baccalaureate students) that sapped up my energy.
On the island, I was in danger of finding teaching work that could put me back to “overwork and underwhelmed with life” mode, if I did not give time to other activities. I also felt numb from leaving my long-term partner. It can be scary to leave your comfort zone. Because there is that gap, that hole once filled with knowingness. I needed to remind myself, I had come here to heal and to shake myself out of a long-term zombie funk. On top of that, after a few months, my good friend and roomie announced that he had found another place on the main land. The truth was he had applied for subsidized housing without telling me. He had needed to use our shared accommodation as a midway station.
In a way being left alone was a good thing, I had begun going to meetups I never would have imagined in my former life. I met wonderful women in a Goddess group, different holistic people in a holistic health group, and various island writers. I took a year to study coaching to combine with my former counseling studies. Then I was invited to give workshops about cognitive methods to deal with life transition issues.
I made connections with people from all walks of life, held counseling talking stick sessions at my new apartment, learned zentangle drawing and started a swimming routine.
Granted as I got more work either Skype teaching, editing or coaching, I did find less and less time to be exploring. Was it stress free? No. Was it one continual path of happiness? Impossible. But my health quickly improved and I hardly had any asthma issues. Perhaps equally important, I had become self-aware. I was viewing every person I was teaching or coaching as a unique human being with their own life narrative, I was enjoying every activity as mindful especially as a soulpreneur. I will discuss this path more later.
Since then, I realized I would only suggest services and introduce products that were of quality and that I believe others would get something out of. In addition, whatever methods I have learned and whatever knowledge I have gained in developing this independent life, I would share. Life is short and with each step I take, I want it to be as meaningful for me as it would be for those I help.
Client Testimonies
